Is this the end?

A fellow blogger has made a very clear case for his prediction that even if Clarence recovers from his stroke (as all of us are surely praying), he will most probably not be able to take his place on stage again.  (For the life of me I cannot find the link again!) He then went further and explained that while it will be possible for Bruce to hire another sax player and continue with a tour, it will never be the same without the Big Man. Thus I must face the fact that most probably Clarence’s illness will mean the end of my dream of ever seeing Bruce and the Band live, too.
And this brings me to the intricate selfishness of grief. I have come to realize that when we are sad because we have lost (or can lose) a special person, our grief is not really about that person, but about ourselves. Of course we are infinitely sad when we lose a dear parent or child or sibling or friend – we are sad when they suffer, sad when they have to face death, because these things are surely hard, hard things to face. But behind all those we are really mourning what we ourselves will lose. Thus it leads me to the conclusion that deep, terrible grief for a loved one is really a kind of punishment for loving that person. When you had a good relationship, you suffer when you lose it. When you had an extraordinary relationship, you suffer even more. When you had a less than great relationship, your grief is less when you lose it. Unless feelings of guilt makes it even worse, of course.
Let us not only hope and pray that Clarence will recover to still have some joy in life, but also that he and Bruce and the rest of the Band will be able to handle this thing in the way they have handled everything that the last forty years have thrown at them, true blood brothers that they are.

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