Advice Bruce could offer the Idols

I loved this post on Blogness:

In consultation with Official Blogness Correspondent Anne Haines, we offer up a few possibilities.

  • Appropriate stage attire (“Black t-shirts. You gotta wear black t-shirts. If it’s chilly, wear two of  ‘em in layers.”)
  • How to more or less gracefully eject snot rockets whilst vocalizing. (“Let’s face it, kids, even rock stars have boogers.”)
  • What is and is not an appropriate song to use for hauling small children up onstage (“Sunny Day,” yes, “Reno,” no).
  • Correct pronunciation of “Jimmy Iovine” (“Rhymes with ‘My Oh Spleen.’”)
  • Knee-Sliding 101 (“If you do it right, camera and crotch will become one.”)
  • Finding the right saxophone player. (“The bigger the better!”)
  • How to write a song. (Cue Idol contestants breaking out into a cold sweat.)
  • How to write a song that actually says something about society and the human condition, rather than about what days come before and after Friday. (Cue Idol contestants’ heads exploding.)

Stay tuned to see if the rumors turn out to be true. All I have to say is, if I were Pia and I got kicked off the week before Bruce showed up … I’d be pissed!

Read more: Springsteen on American Idol Wednesday? | Blogness on the Edge of Town

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